Denton Tall Tales #2

Every town has its kooks and weirdos. Needless to say Denton had its share. Being from a rural area filled with rednecks and whitetrash, there was a lot of drankin’ going on.

I don’t know what this guys name was but anyone who grew up in Denton will know who im talking about. As the legend goes he accumulated quite a few DUI’s, enough so that he eventually lost his license. He lived out in the boonies and in order to acquire his drinking sauce he needed to drive into town, therefore the DUI’s in the first place. As he had no license and a reputation for the drinking and driving he had only one other option left. HE WOULD DRIVE HIS TRACTOR INTO TOWN. That’s right, there is some kind of loophole in the system that says, if you lose your license you cannot drive a car but you may drive a tractor. This is America baby, its called freedom.

This asshole would literally drive his giant tractor 25 mph down main street to get his booze and then drive out to the country where he would drink it, presumably on his front porch. We would all see him driving and slap our knees and say “well golly, here comes good ol’ willie again. He just cant get enough of that sweet ol’ moonshine” (for the sake of this story ill call him willie, and we didn’t really slap our knees or say things like “golly” or “ole”). The cops just kind of shrugged it off and everyone just laughed at the guy. Drunk guy 1, the system 0.