Just in case you need more of a reason to think Kanye is a joker....
Look at him dancin' like a white girl at the 700 club.... He can't even do the super man or crank the robocop! His production is ok but he should take a note from Timbaland and if you put yourself on the track just talk, don't try to rap. And leave the funny MC thing to Luda and Skilz... He does suck but at least he's better than 50 so if you buy his album i'll let it slide...
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Barry Odonnell doesn't care about black people!
are you honestly going to buy that guys album?????? that dude is a fucking clown, i wish he would wear that BAPE hoodie every day and zip it all the way up over his face, so we didn't have to see him ever again.
I already warned Barry i had an infrared aimed at his dome, so here goes....
Kanye West is awful, and he should stop writing raps so people don't have to listen to him talk about how great/insecure/great he thinks he is. He is a Good producer, not great, but pretty damn good, and he should stick with that. He has joined a long list of producers who were not content sitting behind the boards and turntables, and felt it was important that he start rapping. I got news for you, it wasn't good when Alchemist, Pete Rock, and a bunch of other producers did it, and i'll admit Kanye is a better rapper than those two, but he's still not any good.
Back to the point, Kanye sucks, and so does Daft Punk, so when you combine the two, matters only get worse. This is not a "double negative" situation where these two shitty things make for some wonderful musical journey, it's just Kanye trying to say "like how hip I am, i sampled Daft Punk, I'm taking hip hop in a new direction. I am going to bridge the gap with the hipsters, who for some reason love to dance to shitty dirty south songs, by sampling this really cool electronic music".
If you want to hear a good sample from an alt. rock/electronic band, check out "Wordz of Wisdon pt.2" on 3rd Bass' "The Cactus Cee Dee", it's got a nice Depeche Mode sample in there, it's not super obvious for those who are not familiar with the Mode, but the track is the hot shit. That album doesn't get enough credit, never did, but it is really solid and has stood the test of time. If it wasn't for Eminem's early years, I might have to vote for MC Serch as the Best White Rapper of all time.
B.R. Valentine
Sweet Pee
Most of you have heard this story before. I’ve told it a bunch of times. Im sure some of you thought it wasn’t true, others thought I was embellishing a lot. Well, I recently had the pleasure of reminiscing with my ex-girlfriend and she told me her side of the story. So, for your reading pleasure, I’ve typed up the story but added her quotes. R Kelly aint got nothing on me bitches. Enjoy:
About 6 years ago, I was living with my ex-girlfriend. She had a serious drinking problem and would come home really late and really wasted all the time.
"Yeah, I was drinking a little bit then"
She would stumble into bed around 5 in the morning, take her clothes off and snuggle up next to me. One night after some heavy binge drinking, she got into bed and snuggled, but I soon awoke from a strange mystery liquid that was slowly spreading across my lap.
"I peed on you."
That’s right….She had peed the bed. In the morning we talked, I asked her to never do that again, and we probably made whoopee or something.
The next night is ladies night out, and she comes home late and drunk again. I made a joke like, “hee hee, I hope you don’t pee on me again”, and went to sleep. Soon after, my slumber was broken by warm liquid once again. Pee…..once again.
"When I would go out u would always warn me not to drink too much,
‘L, don’t get too drunk.’
‘I wont, I wont...I’ll see you later!!!’
‘Don’t piss the bed when you get home’ (something like that)
‘Whatever Snacks, I’ll be alright...muah’
Then what happens? 4 hours later I pee the fucking bed"
This time I was very pissed (pun intended), and the next morning we had an argument. I was upset and said some things I shouldn’t have said, namely, “IF YOU EVER PEE ON ME AGAIN… I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PEE ALL OVER YOU!!!!”
So the next night it’s someone’s birthday or the Ravens were playing or something, and she goes out again.
Same scenario as before, drinky drinky, stumble home, climb into bed. I woke up and asked her if she remembered what I had said that morning. She did.
Well, of course she pees the bed again and it goes all over me. I was furious. I jumped out of bed, and started shaking her to try and wake her up, but she was in a drunken stupor. She was literally still peeing while I was shaking her because I could see the pee stain creep across our bed and grow larger. It was completely disgusting. So I shot out of bed, and ripped off the covers in a rage.
“Oh, you were not happy”
“I had made a claim, and by golly I was going to stick to it. I’m passed the point of no return. I told this girl that if she peed on me, then I was going to pee on her. I have to do what I have to do…”.
So I did the only thing I could do. I pulled out my dick and peed all over her. It was one of those nice morning, thick, yellow pees that go on for a while.
“(I’m)not quite sure if it was warm or cool”
I didn’t just hit one area, I scattered the pee all over her naked body.
“I wasn’t angry, it felt kinda good, I was kinda hung over so...I think I just laid there, I deserved what I had coming to me...I think I just closed my eyes and shook my head...maybe I cursed a little...its all a little wishy-washy”
This was vengeance at its finest……and this vengeance was all mine.
The next morning we went and bought a new mattress, we made up, and that was the last time she ever peed on me.
Moral of the story: dont pee on me......more than 3 times. Just ask my dog, Bird. She will never pee in the house again.
About 6 years ago, I was living with my ex-girlfriend. She had a serious drinking problem and would come home really late and really wasted all the time.
"Yeah, I was drinking a little bit then"
She would stumble into bed around 5 in the morning, take her clothes off and snuggle up next to me. One night after some heavy binge drinking, she got into bed and snuggled, but I soon awoke from a strange mystery liquid that was slowly spreading across my lap.
"I peed on you."
That’s right….She had peed the bed. In the morning we talked, I asked her to never do that again, and we probably made whoopee or something.
The next night is ladies night out, and she comes home late and drunk again. I made a joke like, “hee hee, I hope you don’t pee on me again”, and went to sleep. Soon after, my slumber was broken by warm liquid once again. Pee…..once again.
"When I would go out u would always warn me not to drink too much,
‘L, don’t get too drunk.’
‘I wont, I wont...I’ll see you later!!!’
‘Don’t piss the bed when you get home’ (something like that)
‘Whatever Snacks, I’ll be alright...muah’
Then what happens? 4 hours later I pee the fucking bed"
This time I was very pissed (pun intended), and the next morning we had an argument. I was upset and said some things I shouldn’t have said, namely, “IF YOU EVER PEE ON ME AGAIN… I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PEE ALL OVER YOU!!!!”
So the next night it’s someone’s birthday or the Ravens were playing or something, and she goes out again.
Same scenario as before, drinky drinky, stumble home, climb into bed. I woke up and asked her if she remembered what I had said that morning. She did.
Well, of course she pees the bed again and it goes all over me. I was furious. I jumped out of bed, and started shaking her to try and wake her up, but she was in a drunken stupor. She was literally still peeing while I was shaking her because I could see the pee stain creep across our bed and grow larger. It was completely disgusting. So I shot out of bed, and ripped off the covers in a rage.
“Oh, you were not happy”
“I had made a claim, and by golly I was going to stick to it. I’m passed the point of no return. I told this girl that if she peed on me, then I was going to pee on her. I have to do what I have to do…”.
So I did the only thing I could do. I pulled out my dick and peed all over her. It was one of those nice morning, thick, yellow pees that go on for a while.
“(I’m)not quite sure if it was warm or cool”
I didn’t just hit one area, I scattered the pee all over her naked body.
“I wasn’t angry, it felt kinda good, I was kinda hung over so...I think I just laid there, I deserved what I had coming to me...I think I just closed my eyes and shook my head...maybe I cursed a little...its all a little wishy-washy”
This was vengeance at its finest……and this vengeance was all mine.
The next morning we went and bought a new mattress, we made up, and that was the last time she ever peed on me.
Moral of the story: dont pee on me......more than 3 times. Just ask my dog, Bird. She will never pee in the house again.
Denton Tall Tales #16
The first time I smoked weed I was in ninth grade. It was at this guy Tom’s birthday party. It was my first “real” party.
Only one of my friends had a license at the time. He picked me up in his mom’s minivan and had a 12-pack in the car. We were so fucking cool.
The party was filled with metalheads and I recognized a few of them from making fun of me in gym class. There was a bonfire and we all sat around in a circle. The bowl we smoked out of was metal and had a skull on it. I didn’t know what a shotgun was so when I tried to light it I burnt the shit out of my thumb. One of the metal kids showed me how to do it and rolled his eyes at me. I was embarrassed but determined to get high, I had just read Jim Morrisons biography and I wanted to go to the other side. I didn’t get stoned that night.
I fell asleep on the floor of the van and when I woke up someone had wiped boogies on my face.
Tom killed himself a couple years later by throwing himself in front of a truck.
Only one of my friends had a license at the time. He picked me up in his mom’s minivan and had a 12-pack in the car. We were so fucking cool.
The party was filled with metalheads and I recognized a few of them from making fun of me in gym class. There was a bonfire and we all sat around in a circle. The bowl we smoked out of was metal and had a skull on it. I didn’t know what a shotgun was so when I tried to light it I burnt the shit out of my thumb. One of the metal kids showed me how to do it and rolled his eyes at me. I was embarrassed but determined to get high, I had just read Jim Morrisons biography and I wanted to go to the other side. I didn’t get stoned that night.
I fell asleep on the floor of the van and when I woke up someone had wiped boogies on my face.
Tom killed himself a couple years later by throwing himself in front of a truck.
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