Rebirth of the Mix Tape

The mix tape left us many years ago when household and computer based CD players gained the ability to burn CDs. Then came the iPod, iTunes and the internet and the mix tape's fate was sealed. But the mix tape was an art form. John Cusack summed it up in High Fidelity: "The making of a great compilation tape is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules." There was even the subtle art of making sure that you didn't leave too much dead space at the end of either side... The case, the case bacame your canvas. Sure, you had to list the bands and songs on there, but it was *how* you wrote it down that made it unique.

While we may never see true mix tapes again(honestly, who even has a functioning tape player anymore?)we can relive the experience. Suck UK has released the Mix Tape USB Stick. The USB memory stick housed in a cassette case! So find that girl of your dreams and make her the mixtape you would have made her if we were back in High School!

Girls like stuff that is shiny

... apparently so do Saudis. In the land of sand and black gold everyone owns a supercar. When everyone drives a "regular" M3, AMG, or XKR as their beater, you need to go above and beyond to stand out in the crowd.

As Nicholas Cage put it in Gone in 60 Seconds:
Memphis: (pointing to a Ferrari 360)...But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money!

So how does the self-indulgent wiener stand out in the land where a full 20% of all Bugati Veyrons are in Dubai alone? Well if you were looking for a Veyron you could pick up one of their "Special Editions". There is the Pur Sang, the Fbg by Hermes, the Targa, or the Sang Noir. For one enterprising Saudi, however, just buying a stock car, regardless of how exclusive, isn't enough. Not to mention no matter how much you wax that paint job, well, its just not shinny enough.

The answer? Chrome a brand new Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to drive this car in the full sun of the average Middle Eastern day. My guess is that he only drives it at night and with the hopes that the ladies go for it. After all, a guy needs any advantage he can get in a place where the girl/guy ratio is somewhere around 1:3.

BBBBBBQ UPDATE #4

"Look, there, just beyond the horizon."
"A great storm is fast-approaching! Quick Edna, grab the children, and head to the cellar." "Pa, you better tie the horses down, it looks like it might be a doozy"

This is a famous scene from a fictitious film I just made up, but i feel like it encapsulates the spirit and energy that is surrounding this years BBBBBBQ. My taste buds are tingling and my loins are burning with anticipation. Beers are on ice, steaks are marinating and yes, t-shirts are being printed while you read this. This is what i like to refer to as the calm before the storm.
I get accosted on the streets daily by strangers eager to participate:
"Hey dude, your that barbecue dude, right? Hey man, can i com....."
"WHOA Buddy! Let me stop you right there, Amigo (said in obviously sarcastic tone). First of all, I wouldn't be caught dead with you at my "barbecue" (air quotes), and second, the mere fact that you refer to it as simply a barbecue shows your lack of respect. Scram before we start throwing hands and I sock you one!"
"Well, can i at least buy a t-shirt"
"I scoff at you"
"C'mon man! I'll suck your dickkkk...."

Its quite awkward actually, especially when it happens at work.

So you, my friends, are the lucky ones, the chosen few, the brave frontiers men about to go where only a handful of you have been before, annually, over the previous three years. god speed.

As I stare at the sand passing through the hour glass, I can't help but wonder, "What if this BBBBBBQ is not the bestest of the bestestest BBBBBBQ's ever. well, good grief, what on earth would i do". I know you dont want to disappoint me, or hear me talk like an 80 year old grandmother, so here is what i propose:

1. All BBBBBBQ attendees must get no less than 10 hours of sleep the night before. i want all of you on your A-games and well rested. This also means no whoopee. If it works for athletes, it will work for you.

2. Bring something to eat. Pretty self explanatory. bring enough for yourself AND some for others as well. just like in kindergarten. dont like meat? well suck it up pussy! no, i kid. bring some vegetables then. i would be really stoked if people made some stuff. I may make macaroni and cheese. Maybe, dont hold me to it, but I'm almost putting some sort of half-assed effort into it, kinda.....that's called setting an example. follow my lead.

3. Beer. Maybe you have heard of a lil' sumpin called Natty Boh? its delicious, satisfying, it cleanses the palette, and it costs like $5 for a 60 pack.

4. Jazz Cigarettes. The Devils Lettuce. If you know what these things are then you are at the right place.

5. Bring $4. This will cover the cost of the t-shirt. my original intention was to skip around and sprinkle tees on everyone like some sort of gay Johnny Appleseed but they ended up being a little bit more than i anticipated. but honestly, 4 bucks...you just spent 4 bucks while reading this, dont ask me how, but you just did. if you dont have 4 bucks dont sweat it, you can still have one, but you will be sentenced to a barrage of "your momma so poor jokes" for the entire afternoon.

So, that about covers it. JUNE 21st. Rain or Shine. If it rains we'll just use a pair of Jon's moms underpants as a tent! Awwwwww....I know you didn't.

LET THE FUN COMMENCE!!