Overhead and Legless

Since I'm no longer working in a den of crazies, I worry that I might lose contact with insane people and the insane things they say. Fortunately, I've taken a shining to golf. Unfortunately, no one else I know has the time or dedication to the sport that I've got. Fortunately, I go and play by myself. This is fortunate because I am often added into stranger's groups. Though strange to me, they are often familiar to each other and speak with familiarity. Last Wednesday in Delaware I was privy to a lovely bit of crazy talk from two strangers. This is my first, and maybe last installment of Overheard on the Golf Course, an homage to the occasionally hilarious website called overheard in new york. I don't know if this idea has legs or not.

Both men are wearing tan polo shirts and darker tan shorts. Each has a slight southern drawl to their vocal inflection. One has a mustache, one does not. We walk up to the green and the clean upper lipper says, "I like doing it from behind but my wife hates it. I got a small cock, so it hurts her. To get in there I've really got to wail into her from behind and it just hurts her too much."

The other fella, the mustached man says, "My wife hates it too, but it's because I go too deep into her, it hurts her too much. I love doing it from behind though."

In the tee box at the next hole the non mustached man continued, "yeah, I had girl once say, no you've got a big penis. I looked at her and said, 'Now I know you're a liar.' I got a small cock. But it doesn't matter, you just got to treat all these bitches like whores in bed."

I kept quiet, but I couldn't have put it any more succinctly myself.