For Jay: Nobody Else Look!

These are from a road trip we took in 2005 to Plevna, Ontario, Canada.

We left at 3:00am after a night at the Regal Beagle.

The place was pretty rural.

We took the boat to the store everyday. Just like on Dawson's Creek!

This was our cabin. It had a bathroom.

But, Derek didn't know that.


There you go Jay, now can we all look at the blog again?

Stop Looking, I'm Web Counting

Jan 1 1999-

Three friends, Mike, Shawn, Jay, and myself spent the day hiking about in the Delaware Water Gap region of the U.S.A. On the drive back I glance over at the odometer of Shawn's car. Shawn's car was about to turn over, hit the 100,000 marker. I lean over pointing at the odometer about to tell Shawn that in a few miles the car is going to reach a historic milestone. He shushs me before I can speak. It was odd, but Shawn is an odd dude. Five minutes later Shawn cries out, "Shit!" He missed watching the odometer spin to 100,000. He had shushed me because he intended to pull over the side of the road and drive slowly while we all watched the car turn 100,000.

The next summer, I'm sitting in the back seat of a purple Saturn being driven by my friend Lauren, her soon to be husband was sitting shotgun. His name is Mike. As we are peeling down the highway, Mike realizes we missed her car as it hit the 100,000 mile marker.

Then in the fall of 2001, I'm driving my car. Totally solo trip. My car hits 100,000 and I miss it.

Tonight I scroll to the bottom of this page and I see there is a counter. The counter takes in all hits, not just unique hits. I learned this through empirical experimentation. Well, I'm not missing this counter turn over. I'm going to have to ask that no one look at the page for a little while. I'm going to be visiting this page then another one then coming back to this one over and over for 99,136 times until I watch this page turn over.

I think we can all agree that I've earned the right to see something turn over to 100,000, so it's fair for you guys not to look at the page. I'm sorta busy right now, with moving and partying, so it might take a while. I'll post on here when you can look again.

The King

Daft Hands

Denton Tall Tales #11

When I first arrived in Denton I couldn't speak any English. I understood it very well but had trouble speaking. I started school towards the end of kindergarten.

There were no ESL programs at the school and I was actually the first student they ever had that couldn't speak English. They weren’t quite sure what to do with me, so they put me in the RETARDED KIDS CLASS. I can remember complaining to my mom that all of the other kids were real weird. I had recess with the normal kids and they would speak jibberish to me as if they were speaking another language. I would call them dirty words in Portuguese. When I did learn English I told my mom that I never wanted to speak Portuguese ever again. She would try and talk to me around the house but I would just ignore her unless it was in English. I may have been traumatized.

Growing up I was called both a Spic and a Mexican. I don’t speak Spanish nor have I ever been to Mexico.

Yacht Bullshit

July 4, Landenberg, PA-

"Jay, aren't you stoked to go see Hall and Oats?" The question zoomed at me from all angles. You fucking hip mutha fuckers and your chic rock, with tinges of irony embedded. Of course I wasn't excited to go see them. Just like I'm not excited when my parents put on their soft rock radio station in the car, as they have for my entire life. Just like I'm bummed that I can sing along to all the songs because of my childhood spent in an inescapable box of the same smooth music on repeat. The Celtics will have a bigger rotation this year than Magic 98.3 in New Jersey has ever had. Who understands that Celtics reference? At any rate, I wasn't stoked.

It seems to me they caught on because of the internet phenomenon Yacht Rock, which was very entertaining. That's fine, but where do we draw the line? When did the return of the 80's fashion intersect with the return of 80's excess and 70's soft rock kings? Shortly after the Birthday party for U.S.A. Hall and Oats start popping up everywhere. I'm watching an online promo for the new Chromeo album and the singer, Dave 1 holds up a Hall and Oats album. I'm watching an episode of the Flight of the Conchords and Daryl Hall has a cameo. And then yesterday on Pitchfork they have a lengthy interview with Mr. Hall. In it he calls Robert Fripp a girl and uses the term 'reverse racism,' which last I checked is same as regular racism. I could be wrong, maybe I'm just being a wigger.

I don't care how much you inject this smoothed out shit into my life. Much like the Bush administration, I'm taking a stand against revisionist history. Isn't it enough that I like Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado now? It's got to stop somewhere and I'm planting my foot. I'm not stoked and will never be stoked on Hall and Oats.

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/44913-interview-daryl-hall