Thursday Personals!

Find yourself a date for the weekend.
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com

Melissa AKA "Mudd Butt"

name: Melissa AKA "Mudd Butt"
age: 23 roman calendar years
height: 5'7"
eyes: doo doo brown
turn ons: facial hair, rhythm
turn offs: blogging, bad grammar
hobbies/interests: war documentaries, quiet introspection, writing angry letters to the government under the bare bulb in my basement
last words: during the summer of the 1,969th year after the persecution of christ; on the southeastern tip of the asian continent; in a nation called vietnam; my infantry made its way towards our camp through a dry, lifeless expanse of shrubbery that had once surely been a fertile rice field but was now littered with shrapnel, shell casings, barbed wire, and other paraphanalia of strife. each of our footsteps was ginger and solemn, as we were well aware of the mines planted beneath the arid soil. heads bowed, we made steady progress in a linear formation. with every decisive stride, we were born again; pressed into existence against the thick fog by the labor of fate, nurtured in her womb during those few seconds of gestation between paces, then delivered with each foot's landing. each new step marked a new beginning; if we were still standing, we had been spared. we were given a new set of chances, new eyes and new souls to regard our dire strait, fresh breath and a more cautious hand to wipe the sweat, rich as uteran lining, off our brows and carry on. and we did, armed with hope. the sun and moon were trading places in the amber-salmon sky. for one moment, it seemed too still. this was the sign. the sound was so profound it consumed my senses. for its entire duration, i felt nothing, saw nothing, smelled nothing, had no tongue. for an instant i was sealed in its vacuum, my spine curved under its weight. it blanketed the horizon with a totality that mocked silence. the next time i could blink i found myself in another place, not far from where i had just stood, but no longer governed by the familiar laws of the physical world. i struggled to orient myself in this new dimension. my nerves betrayed their memory. my body told me i was hanging upside-down under water, spinning in circles; but i was standing. and i was not the only one. those of us that did not loose our sight or hearing from the blast stood around his severed torso, tethered to our places by fear. we marveled at his consciousness and coherency. the steady gaze of his heavy-hooded eyes completed an expression that made him seem wise. perhaps he felt this way, for the great mystery that propels our every instinct, impulse, and passion had been solved for him: this is how it would happen, this was his moment. his mouth moved, omitting a series of strange sounds at first, until he broke into song. "sunroof top, diamond in the back, diggin the scene with a gangsta lean, mmm mmmm." so he bled into the earth, sank furthur into the elements from which he was birthed, and although we knew the words, by the time his expression changed to one of steely condemnation, we had done nothing, said nothing. we still had hope strapped to our chests, we waited for the air to initiate some change. he levelled our longing with his final words: "FUCK! somebody DO SOMETHING, even if it's wrong!"

do something, even if it's wrong.

Snackleton Nathanial Merryweather

name: Snackleton Nathanial Merryweather
age: 34, Libra
height: 6'1", 11 inches flaccid
turn-ons: having sex, cocoa butter, Olive Garden
turn-offs: the missionary position, doo doo stains.....that's pretty much it.
hobbies/interests: amateur photography, foot rubs, Sade, macaroni art
last words: SWM seeks a woman for compassion and getting my freak on. Age, weight, height, and sexual orientation not important. I'm searching for a woman, or a man who looks a lot like a woman, who wants her every desire to be met, every dream to be filled, and every orifice penetrated. I own a king size circular bed and have a large collection of DVD movies. Must like baked potatoes, Paula Poundstone, and reptiles.
"Your parents must be retarded, because girl, you are special."

Mike Giuliano

name: Mike Giuliano
age: 27
height: 5'10"
eyes: the color describes how well they work: shitty
turn ons: girls, rapper girls, girls who like pizza, girls who buy me shit, art fag girls, girls, girls who want to support my budding career as a rapper, punk rock girls, girls that want to feed me grapes while we lay around listening to the smiths, girls who do karaoke. girls.
turn offs: girls that don't buy me shit. girls that try to get me to do shit.
hobbies/interests:Gold dig' n.
last words: Which one of you girls with a paycheck wants to buy me dinner?

Andrew P. Warcraft

name: Andrew P. Warcraft (guess what the P. stands for)
age: 24
height: 8 - 10 inches taller than Prince
eyes: Starfish and Coffee (without the starfish)
turn ons: Raspberry berets (The kind U find in a second hand store), Could we go 2 a movie and cry together Cuz 2 me baby that would be so fine
turn offs: overcast days never turned me on,
hobbies/interests: my idea of fun is being in a gang called The Disciples High on crack, totin' a machine gun
last words: Dearly beloved we are gathered here today 2 get through this thing called life electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty blog time but I'm here to tell you . . .

High or Not dotcom (vol. 4)

Andrew P. Warcraft's Weekly Tattoo Pick (vol. 2)

Billy left his home with a dollar in his pocket and a head full of dreams.
He said somehow, some way, its gotta get better than this.
Patti packed her bags, left a note for her momma, she was just seventeen,
There were tears in her eyes when she kissed her little sister goodbye.

They held each other tight as they drove on through the night they were so exited.
We got just one shot of life, lets take it while were still not afraid.
Because life is so brief and time is a thief when youre undecided.
And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands.

Young hearts be free tonight. time is on your side,
Dont let them put you down, dont let em push you around,
Dont let em ever change your point of view.

My Favorite Piece of Art, Ever!

It was done by Hajime Sorayama.

School Days Are Here Again

I started back at school this week, which means I prolly won't be making it down to Philly for a little while. I did have a real sweet time the last two times I came down though, so I will make more of an effort to come down more then once a season.
While picking up a belt at H and M, I found this display of thongs by the register. And even though the phrasing of the sign struck me as funny, I can't help but hope that the girls at my school picked up some of these "must haves" while doing back to school shopping.

High or Not dotcom (vol. 3)

A Bridge

Millau Viaduct
Millau, France

The Millau Viaduct is a work of both engineering prowess and architectural grace. Spanning the River Tam, in the south of France, Millau is a massive piece of infrastructure that appears as light as the fog that puffs across the valley, despite the superlatives that might weigh it down: It's the tallest (1,122 feet) and longest (1.6 miles) multispan cable-stayed bridge in the world.

Its construction took only three years, thanks to a pre-fabrication process in which 2,000 sections of the steel roadway were manufactured off-site, lifted into place, and aligned with the help of a GPS. The technique also allowed for the minimum disruption of the surrounding environment -- echoing the bridge's overall goal of relieving the river valley of traffic while connecting the highway systems of France and Spain. Its remarkably slender profile and the way its graceful span emphasizes the drama of the landscape prove that cutting-edge building technology need not be at odds with the natural landscape.

High or Not dotcom (vol. 2)

Denton Tall Tales #15

"Hey Rusty, what you doin' this weekend?" "Cruisin'....."

This was a typical Denton conversation. Cruisin' consisted of driving laps from the McDonalds, hanging a right at the Royal Farm Store, and then turning around at the car wash and repeating. If you passed someone you wanted to talk to then you would “brake” them, which consisted of tapping your brakes. They would see this in their rear view mirror and pull over so you could talk. This is how almost every evening started, parties were planned, and most drugs were bought.

Two other popular weekend activities were, "mud-hoppin' " and "cow-tippin' ".

Week 2 wrap up!

Ok so no crazy shows this week, I'll get on a music rant later...
Last week I spent the majority of my week couped up searching the cyberweb for some freelance work. I did score an interview for Wednesday, so I guess it was worth it...

Friday I went over to Barracuda on Melrose because my friend Joel K.

was launching his Japanese inspired and designed clothing line Kazuo. It's a real clothing line cut and sew pieces right of the bat and everything!




Joel built out an entire room upstairs for the preview, including taping(not painting) the walls and installing 2x4's on their edge across the entire floor. (I met him at fatburger one night while he was in the middle of this and he was pretty wrecked, it turned out dope though).


Pubes was on the cut for the party. "I was feeling myself so hard on some of those mixes." He was dropping dope disco shit the whole time, I never heard any of it before but the shit was dope!

This is Dave B., I think I met him through Joel a year or 2 ago,I forget... Dave's the man, he's getting me link into "the biz" and every time he runs into someone he knows I think he's gonna tackle em...

and these are his people, lets see if I can get the names: Nate, Dave, Hassan, and L? I cheated and had to check myspace for some of em...

Saturday night I went to this party Pubes was throwing with a bunch of other DJ Dudes, some of who I had heard of and know are dope and some of whom I wasnt familiar with:

I was gonna take pics but I took one and quickly realized that it wasn't going to happen.

Pubes said it was going to be a "rave cave" and he wasn't lying. Which brings me to my aforementioned rant.

Ahem

All I have heard since I moved out here is techno music! WTF!

Pubes says I gotta get with it, and I usually respect dudes opinion, but I can't do it! I wasn't into this shit the first time around, and I sure as shit ain't hopping on the bandwagon now! The thing that gets me is all these DJ's out here are playing this shit but NO-ONE dances to it... (I mean I don't do coke so I usually bounce by 2:30am but no one is dancing to it until at least 2:30am anyway...) That's an exaggeration SOME people do dance to it but it's not like this shit is blowing peoples minds! It's like dudes spend all day on the blogs trying to figure out whats gonna be cool next rather than doing their own thing and just fuckin rocking the party! I think I have to seal myself in a hyperbolic chamber and listen to nothing but back packer shit just to get balanced. It would be one thing if it was like here's a house set now lets keep it moving but it's entire nights of this stuff...

To quote Clipse "UGH!"

I mean I love B-more but I only play like 3 of those cuts in a row max, you gotta "mix it up"!

I guess what I'm saying is mix it up for me a little huh? This stuff tends to get old. Come on guy, you know you want to...

Ah I feel better now. This room is clear...

Until next week I leave you with... "Would You Eat This?"

Day old degornos pizza heated up on a George Foreman grill!?!
The pizza situation out here blows! So not only did I eat it, I rather enjoyed it!
Peace Out!
B

High or Not dotcom

Snacks had this great idea a while ago. Vote, by leaving a comment, if you think they are high or not.






And yes, I know some of you have seen this photo before but, fuck you.

Whoopee

Jam Band Fan or Taliban??

Dudes with beards

What What The Hell???

Public School Tales: vol. 2

This tale didn't happen in my class (thank god!) so I don't know all of the details. Here's what I do know. Fact, this Public School Tale involves students "having sex" in the bathroom at school. I put "having sex" in quotations because I have to imagine that it was only fondling and maybe some oral. ("Only" probably isn't the best word to use.) Fact, the two students in tis tale were both boys. Here's where the story gets really crazy. The two boys were in first grade. First grade! Can you imagine?

Apparently they had been meeting in the bathroom since Kindergarten. In first grade we would walk all of the boys to the bathroom together. Since I was the only male teacher in first grade it was my job to make sure they didn't go into the bathroom together. That, is not part of my job description!

The quote that I heard (not directly) was,"sometimes I go to the bathroom even when we didn't plan on meeting up because it feels so good."

Denton Tall Tales #14

Before we had a McDonalds we had a McConnells. McConnells Fun Food. It wasn’t a chain, it was run by some local Dentonians. It was very similar to McDowells, from Coming to America. The logo was a smiley face and they had an awesome playground in the back. Now it is a Subway/Dunkin Donuts combo, located directly across from the Roses.