West Philly House Party/Show

This Saturday a bunch of bands I've never heard of (MIKA MIKO, CAPILLARY ACTION, PONY PANTS, ILL EASE, AUGUST, BROBOTS, L'ANANAS, TEAM ROBESPIERRE, ZDRASTVOOTIE, THE MAGNET CITY KIDS, THE CELEBS, THINKING MACHINES) are playing with PADRE PIO. Padre Pio is Sean and Avi's new band (you know, those guys from Fuck With The Bull Get The Horns) and Black Corey (he was in a famous band too). Padre Pio is all about Partriotism and Pizza

The show is at DangerDanger in West Philadelphia. Padre Pio goes on at 7:30so if you want to hang out at my house until then come on over.

Denton Tall Tales #7

North Caroline High School. There is no South Caroline High. It makes more sense to me to just call it Caroline High.
Half of the school was vocational. Auto mechanics, carpentry, and hair cutting. It was funny seeing the girls carrying around those heads for them to practice on. It always seemed like the girls who were in hair cutting class were pregnant.

NCHS was located in the middle of a cow farm. During class you could hear them mooing. In the warm months the smell of manure was overbearing. We also didn’t have any air conditioning. Instead they would bring in chicken-house fans and put them at the end of the halls. They're gigantic 6ft tall fans they would use to cool down the chickens. Girls complained that the fans messed up their bangs.

What was your graduation party like?

R. Sean Ghallager's Graduation Party - March 22, 2006 - CNN Skate Palace & Hennesy's

This was R. Sean's speech.

"Both the long and the short of my thinking behind inviting each individual with whom you enjoy yourself skating beside this fantastic and never to be forgotten afternoon lies rooted in one simple life fact.

Every single one of you at some point of my twenty - six and one half years on this planet Earth; turning oxygen into carbon dioxide, has at one point or another stood with me enjoying the lives we live together.

Through our shared experience in success, of failures, regrets, appreciations, tribulations, vocations, trials, resentments, laugh[t]ers, loves, and squab[b]les; I now find myself overwhelmed only with gratitude.

Through this roller skating at CN's Skating Palace I am in R. Sean's way attempting to thank each and every entity responsible for their part in shaping the current creation of this Ghallagher. The man who now stands before you recognizing and renouncing his love for the life he is now leading.

Thanking You.
Loving You.
Sean"


Here's just a small sampling of the pics courtesy of the Conquer.


It's his party and he'll do what he wants to


Sean and his sisters


The O'Donnell family


Andrew


Don't fuck with this guy


Some lovely ladies


Andrew P. Warcraft and some cake


That dude looks fantastic


R. Sean and R.



Rock Stars get all the girls


Double fisting


One handed!


Crew Deep!

Philly's Rad (vol.1 - music)

Rolling Stone loves Philly bands!
Dr. Dog
The Teeth

The Fader loves Philly bands!
Spankrock
Dr. Dog again

Pitchfork loves Philly bands!
Man Man = 8.3
Plastic Little = 7.4 video

Beck loves Philly bands!
Best of 2006
1. TV on the Radio: Return to Cookie Mountain
2. Miss Violetta Beauregarde: Odi Profanum Vulgus et Arceo
3. Spank Rock: YoYoYoYoYo
4. Liars: Drum's Not Dead
5. Madlib: The Dudley Perkins "Expressions" Instrumentals
6. Crystal Skulls: Outgoing Behavior
7. Dr. Dog: Takers and Leavers
8. Girl Talk: Night Ripper
9. Cornelius: Sensuous
10. The Raconteurs: Broken Boy Soldiers

I was waiting for Avi to post this . . .

Booty Bots


Not safe for work (if you're some kind of pussy)

DentonTall Tales #6

I remember the day I went to speak with my guidance counselor about college very well. He had given me a book with lists of colleges in them, listing each colleges pros and cons. I immediately went to the Pennsylvania section and began looking for schools in the Philadelphia area. I could have cared less about majors, off-campus living, or meal plans. My main concern was the proximity of the school to Love Park. Upenn was out, I had no portfolio so the Art Institute was out, West Chester University seemed like a possibility. I walked into my guidance counselors office, told him confidently about my plans for the future, then waited patiently for his response. The first thing out of his lips were, “Have you thought about the military…..?” I never talked to him ever again.

Denton Tall Tales #5

Back roads were serious party areas. You could drive out to nowhere and not see any houses or see any cars and just turn up the stereo and party dude. It was convenient I guess. Every once in a while you would pass one of your friends driving and it would be hysterical because you were both in the middle of nowhere doing the same thing.
We were partying one night on a road that just ended. It was a dirt road and suddenly it just stopped in the middle of a big field. This was completely normal. Past the field there were trees, but there were no houses in sight.
Someone noticed two small lights coming from the woods, and I got this creepy feeling like when I watch Unsolved Mysteries. The lights were coming closer and closer, directly across the field. I wasn’t sure what the hell it was and there was a collective anxiety among the group. We stood together facing the lights coming our way, squinting, trying to make out what it was. Suddenly directly in front of us was a gigantic Bigfoot type truck, plowing through the field, coming right at us. It was bouncing up and down. The truck pulled up in front of us, asked us if we were hunting, explained to us that they were cracking down on illegal hunting, told us to have a nice night, and then drove back through the field. We were in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, smoking blunts and underage drinking, and the Deer Police almost busted us.

Denton Tall Tales #4

During the summer I worked painting houses. I worked with Crazy Rednecks and they would play pranks on me all the time. They would make me paint something on a roof, take away the ladder and leave me up there for most of the day, or lock me in a closet and eat my lunch, shit like that. We had 2 vans that we would take to work, one was for the beer drinkers, the other was for the weed tokers. I met Rob in the weed van. He was a weirdo, grew his own shrooms, and told ridiculously elaborate lies that you wanted to laugh at but he probably would have fought you if you questioned him. The 2 stories i can remember:

1) His friend was riding his harley down a country road. He was driving between 2 hills about as tall as his head. suddenly a deer tries to jump from hill to hill, crossing the road. The deer doesn't quite make the jump and lands directly on the back of the harley. His friend then drives all the way home with the deer on his back, kills the deer and makes dinner for all of his friends. Rob was at the dinner.

2) When he was a teenager in Florida he was drinking some cold ones with his buddies. A stranger approached them and asked them if they wanted to make some extra cash. they said sure. They all climbed into a van and were handed flashlights, then they were driven into the boondocks on an old country road. The van stopped and they were all instructed to lie down in the ditches lining the road and to turn their flashlights on. Fifteen minutes later a small plane landed on the old country road directly above them. They unloaded the contents of the plane, "pure Colombian cocaine, man", into the van, the plane took off, and they all made $20.

Rob was also part of one of the funniest things I have ever seen. He would leap over things at work all the time and say his agility came from his army training (he was never in the army). One day he tried to jump over a deck railing, his feet got caught up, and he landed face first REAL hard. The rednecks lost their shit, and I laughed so hard i almost threw up.

Yah Mos Def

"Yah Mos Def

free show tomorrow (Wednesday) in rittenhouse sq. with some other bands, i dont know who.
18th and walnut
begins at 7:00 pm
BYOJJ (bring your own jamba juice)"

- my former arch nemisis

Anyone want to go to this?

I posted this on Craig's List

Casting attractive girls to play the role of "Studious Bitches" in a music video.

Must be 18 or over.

Please send E-mails to:
StudiousBees@gmail.com

Send pictures (they do not need to be professional head shots) and a brief statement why you would make a good "Studious Bitch".

Director: Andrew P. Warcraft

I thought I'd get some funny responses. I don't know, I wasn't to happy with the results but here's a few . . .

When I saw this casting, I had to ask myself, studious bitch? How does that apply to me? With little effort, I quickly realized that the term could very well apply to me. My entire life, I've had to be good at everything I do, and academics were no exception. I was always studying....not exactly a nerd, but studious and a conscientious student. In my senior year of high school, I realized I could get my way by manipulating people and coercing them into giving me what I wanted. It was at this time that I had begun to realize the power of arguing and the rush that came with telling people off.

Now, I am pursuing a career in law, using my talents to improve my career, yet I'm studying all the time to maintain great grades.

Thanks for your time,

Kate Mikus



Hey...

My name is Dominique DiCaprio and i'm from south philly. Im 21 and i've
exprienced so much that i pretty much fall under any title. As far as a
"studious bitch" that just reminds me of the movies with the hot girl thats
smart and always gets everything..someone everyone notices. In high school i
was far from that..i was always friends with everyone, but over the years
everything about me changed and i guess i became some what of a studious
bitch myself. I do tend to intimidate others or i always have women stare
and mumble things under thier breathe...i guess when i walk into im very
quite but there is that something about me that the whole room notices.
Anyway...here are some photos!

thanks again for the opportunity!




Hey there!
I'd make a great studious bee because I am studious...i'm always buzzin between gettin shit done and celebrating my work hard to play hard mentality...

neway, here's my pic...do I get to wear a catholic school girl outfit? bc that would be awesome!


HEY, MAY I BE A MODEL TOO:

I'M KIESHA, I'M A SEXY CARAMEL THING WITH DREAMS OF BEING A MODEL, I'M NOT SURE HOW TO MAKE A MODEL RESUME SO I'LL DO MY VERY BEST. THANKS.......





how much do you charge to do videos?

Why cast me?

I AM a studious bitch. I graduated magna cum laude with an attitude. How's
THAT for brief?

Later!
Tara


Hi,

My name is Kay Lai. I would be perfect for this video becuase I have that perfect studious bitchy look. Althought, I am really nice and sweet. I am also great at acting like anything.

Please let me know if you need additional photos.


Thanks,
Kay La



funny?,sexy?,sad?

Scoots

I say we take him to the club.

Denton Tall Tales #3

I had a step dad as a youngster. He was a fat, racist cop. I was a skateboard obsessed, hip-hop listening youth. We did not see eye to eye. In fact, we hated each other.

He busted a kid I went to high school with, and while apprehending him he called him the N-word. Him and one other officer were fired for using racist remarks. After searching for other police officer positions in the area without any luck, he did what any racist cop, recently fired, would do, he became a security guard at Wal-Mart.
Later he stole some security cameras from Wal-Mart and installed them in our house to spy on me. He thought I was doing drugs. and skateboarding. and probably hanging out with black people. I was doing all of the above. He never caught me. I knew about the cameras and mooned one of them once. He was so pissed but he couldn't say anything, or else he would have blown his whole operation.

Last I heard he was a security guard at the Pentagon. Homeland security at its finest.

SCOOTS

Scoots is going to need a new home soon. I would like to do something real big with him. Scare small children, alarm the elderly, film fuzzy porn....anything really. People of the interworld, throw me your suggestions!!

What should Barry's new DJ name be?

1) Velocity B

2) Barrius Aquarius

3) Barry Blanco

4) DJ Alpen

Ponta Negra, Natal, RN

This is the beach closest to my house in Brasil. Its a ten minute bus ride to paradise. When I was younger we would climb up that huge hill in the background. It would literally take us hours. I saw Fernanda Tavares jogging on this beach one day. For those of you who dont know who she is, she is a Victoria Secret model. I remember when I saw her I was like, "ehhh, shes hot, but I see girls like that all the time". Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I am doing with my life...

Denton Tall Tales #2

Every town has its kooks and weirdos. Needless to say Denton had its share. Being from a rural area filled with rednecks and whitetrash, there was a lot of drankin’ going on.

I don’t know what this guys name was but anyone who grew up in Denton will know who im talking about. As the legend goes he accumulated quite a few DUI’s, enough so that he eventually lost his license. He lived out in the boonies and in order to acquire his drinking sauce he needed to drive into town, therefore the DUI’s in the first place. As he had no license and a reputation for the drinking and driving he had only one other option left. HE WOULD DRIVE HIS TRACTOR INTO TOWN. That’s right, there is some kind of loophole in the system that says, if you lose your license you cannot drive a car but you may drive a tractor. This is America baby, its called freedom.

This asshole would literally drive his giant tractor 25 mph down main street to get his booze and then drive out to the country where he would drink it, presumably on his front porch. We would all see him driving and slap our knees and say “well golly, here comes good ol’ willie again. He just cant get enough of that sweet ol’ moonshine” (for the sake of this story ill call him willie, and we didn’t really slap our knees or say things like “golly” or “ole”). The cops just kind of shrugged it off and everyone just laughed at the guy. Drunk guy 1, the system 0.

Trapped in the Closet

The new Trapped in the Closet Chapters are available for the viewing and they are crazier than a fish with titties.

Via Pitchfork

Or just go to the ifc site and watch each new episode

(they've officially jumped the shark. Also, I added it up, at about 8 minutes an episode, this series runs to a total of almost three hours, way too much.)

Denton Tall Tales

I went to high school with this kid named Daniel Dorsey. He was super metal and looked like he was 35. He had no friends and didnt speak to anyone. I think he may have been kind of retarded, half his classes would be with the special kids and the other half i guess were with the normal kids. Whenever any of the teachers would ask him a question he would just grunt, and he also used to shred on his air guitar a lot.

During our junior year Daniel dropped out of school.....AND THEN GOT A JOB AS THE JANITOR. Take a minute to let the epicness of that situation settle in. He hated school enough that he would quit, but he must have not minded getting paid minimum wage to wake up at the same time he had to before, and get made fun of even worse then he was. (To be fair not many people made fun of him to his face. dude was pretty scarry. but we all laughed at that motherfucker as soon as he left the room)

Now, what i would like to know is, he must of been sitting at home, jamming to some Maiden, thinking "fuck school man, i am so out of there, i dont give a fuck what my old man says...", so he quits. fair enough. but i would like to know what happened next. this is the possible scenarios i have come up with.

A) "dude, im only going to school if they pay me. holy shit! there is a janitors position open, all right!!!!! yeeer yereerrrry yyeerrrrr (air guitar solo)!!!!"

B) "Daniel, as your guidance counselor, i just dont see you graduating this year. your best bet would be to learn a skill. As a matter of fact we have an opening in our custodial services department. If your interested i could try and pull a few strings for you" "urrrrggghhhh (sure)"

C) "I quit!!!! Schools out forever bitches!!! Im never coming back here ever again"......Two weeks later......"i miss seeing that sweet trim. What would judas priest do? i got to get back in that school and slay some of these broads. alright!!!!"

He literally went from being in my gym class one week to cutting the grass on the football field the next. I remember kids thinking that he had stolen a lawnmower or something when we saw him. I was just reminiscing with one of my old homies about this kid and I thought I would share. This man was a true Denton legend if there ever was one.

Heart Hurter

She really knows how to work a pole

The End of the Blog/Jungle Fever

My god people. This was a short lived experiment wasn't it? We went from 7 to 6 to 4 to 4 to 1 posts and now were barely making 3? I don't really count the link to Jason's other blog. By the way, two blogs? I mean if you count this one, I've at one point or another been a pen man for 4 blogs, but still I wasn't linking back and forth between them. And the post that wasn't about the moustaches, which was essentially a link to Jason's Picassa page, which I'd already seen was a half assed attempt to talk about someone that everyone already knew, or if like me, didn't know, didn't care. Well about a week in we've already scrapped the bottom of the barrel. And you know who I blame for this? Barry.

He left. He had a going away party. I couldn't make it because I awoke at 5 a.m. to watch the Eagles in their spring training camp. After camp I went for a round of 18 holes with my close personal friend the Balz Man. I was tuckered, I couldn't make it to the shin dig for the Aquarius.

But you know what I did first thing in the morning? I checked the blog. "Oh certainly, they're will be a thrilling re-cap, perhaps a photo or two," I thought to myself. But what did I get? Nothing. Not a god damned thing. I hate all of you. I called Snacks and asked how it was. He took on Barry's personality since Barry was leaving I guess and said, "You know, it was cool, what ever, we just sat around." Blehh. Barry gave you people nothing to write or post.

Well what about you tube? Nothing there. How about your lives? Nothing. August is killing us. The you tubers aren't posting things quickly enough, so we have to invent our own form of entertainment.



Here's my post, and I hope it saves the blog.

I leave my job at the end of the week. They've hired my replacement. She's a 17 year old who sits across from me as I read or watch movies. Unfortunately, I occasionally hear her talking. Another temporary employee who loves Lil Wayne brought in the 10th anniversary issue of XXL magazine. In this issue they had the 10 best eye candies of the magazines storied history. I perused those ladies. Later in the afternoon, the new me, my replacement asked me if I had jungle fever.

Then she was asked the next day by the Weezy fan if there was any race she wouldn't date. After a thoughtful pause she replied, "Arab." Why them? "Well, I would want to get bombed," another thoughtful pause, then, "plus I don't want my children to smell like wet dog or nothing."

It's crazy that they managed to replace me with some that thinks the exact same way as I do.