Bob and Barbaras tonight?
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thursday Personals!
Find yourself a date for the weekend.
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
Thursday Personals Archives!
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
Thursday Personals Archives!
Denton Tall Tale #30
In high school I wasn’t very fond of extra curricular activities. My policy was to get in and get out, try to be as un-noticeable as possible, and leave no evidence behind. This meant no sports, no groups, and no dances. Definitely no dances. We had an in-school dance once and the majority of the gym broke out into a country line dance, and I swore from that day on I would never attend another high school dance as long as I was alive. I did not break that promise.
The only after-school activity I ever participated in was helping decorate for the senior prom. My art teacher had signed me up, and he was really nice to me, so I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Most schools have their proms in hotel ballrooms, or at the very least VFW lodges. We had ours in the gym. We would use construction paper, glue, and glitter, and turn that gym into a romantic oasis, where love would bloom, adolescents would become adults, and the most memorable nights of teenage lives would be created. Think “enchantment under the sea”. Despite helping to decorate, I did not attend this prom or any other prom, mainly because of the promise I had made myself a year earlier. Instead my friends picked me up at my house in their limousine afterward. They were all wearing their gowns and tuxedos, and I had on cargo shorts.
The only other experience I had with a high school dance was one year on my birthday. My mother decided I needed to eat at a nice restaurant sometime in my life and we drove a half hour to Easton, where the closest restaurant was. What we both failed to realize was that this night was the same night as homecoming, and since THIS was the closest restaurant, it was filled with young couples eating their pre-dance meals. The dining room was literally packed with kids from my high school, gazing into each others eyes, eating their romantic dinners, wondering where the night would take them……..and I was there with my mom.
The only after-school activity I ever participated in was helping decorate for the senior prom. My art teacher had signed me up, and he was really nice to me, so I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Most schools have their proms in hotel ballrooms, or at the very least VFW lodges. We had ours in the gym. We would use construction paper, glue, and glitter, and turn that gym into a romantic oasis, where love would bloom, adolescents would become adults, and the most memorable nights of teenage lives would be created. Think “enchantment under the sea”. Despite helping to decorate, I did not attend this prom or any other prom, mainly because of the promise I had made myself a year earlier. Instead my friends picked me up at my house in their limousine afterward. They were all wearing their gowns and tuxedos, and I had on cargo shorts.
The only other experience I had with a high school dance was one year on my birthday. My mother decided I needed to eat at a nice restaurant sometime in my life and we drove a half hour to Easton, where the closest restaurant was. What we both failed to realize was that this night was the same night as homecoming, and since THIS was the closest restaurant, it was filled with young couples eating their pre-dance meals. The dining room was literally packed with kids from my high school, gazing into each others eyes, eating their romantic dinners, wondering where the night would take them……..and I was there with my mom.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Stronger?
I like Kanye, I do, but this is totally indefensible. Who cares about the VMAs? This is just fuel for the hate fire. Barry.
Do any of you guys watch videos on MTV anymore?
I know most of you probably haven't watched a video on MTV in years.
Does MTV even show videos anymore?
Yeah they do. I watch them every morning at 6:00. I guess 6:00am is a little too early for reality TV. Anyways, from about 6:00 until 6:30 I flip back and forth between MTV, VH1, MTV2, MTVH (the H stands for hits I think), MTVJams and I think there's another one in there too. The funny thing is while I'm flipping through the music channels in the morning I keep seeing the same videos. I don't mean I see the same videos everyday, well I mean that too, but what I mean is I see the same videos playing at the exact same time on these various music channels.
The same videos!
Sometimes one particular video stops and when I flip to the next music channel it's just starting on that channel.
These channels are all owned by the same people!
Each channel only plays about 20 - 30 videos per day and what, they ran out of videos?
Listen, the point of all of this rambling is that today I saw a video I actually liked. I saw it two times in a row in fact.
The weird thing is I think I'm posting this video not because I want to turn people onto a song that I like but because I think most of you will hate it. I think I'm the only person who likes Lily Allen (or at least I liked that single she had last year that I used to watch at six in the morning. i think it was called "Smile".) and I just assume that that it's not cool to like Common anymore either.
Does MTV even show videos anymore?
Yeah they do. I watch them every morning at 6:00. I guess 6:00am is a little too early for reality TV. Anyways, from about 6:00 until 6:30 I flip back and forth between MTV, VH1, MTV2, MTVH (the H stands for hits I think), MTVJams and I think there's another one in there too. The funny thing is while I'm flipping through the music channels in the morning I keep seeing the same videos. I don't mean I see the same videos everyday, well I mean that too, but what I mean is I see the same videos playing at the exact same time on these various music channels.
The same videos!
Sometimes one particular video stops and when I flip to the next music channel it's just starting on that channel.
These channels are all owned by the same people!
Each channel only plays about 20 - 30 videos per day and what, they ran out of videos?
Listen, the point of all of this rambling is that today I saw a video I actually liked. I saw it two times in a row in fact.
The weird thing is I think I'm posting this video not because I want to turn people onto a song that I like but because I think most of you will hate it. I think I'm the only person who likes Lily Allen (or at least I liked that single she had last year that I used to watch at six in the morning. i think it was called "Smile".) and I just assume that that it's not cool to like Common anymore either.
Wear Black on September 20th, 2007
Not to get political on yall but . . .
Last fall in Jena, Louisiana, the day after two Black high school students sat beneath the "white tree" on their campus, nooses were hung from the tree. When the superintendent dismissed the nooses as a "prank," more Black students sat under the tree in protest. The District Attorney then came to the school accompanied by the town's police and demanded that the students end their protest, telling them, "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke of my pen."
The noose-hanging incident and the DA's visit to the school set the stage for everything that followed. Racial tension escalated over the next couple of months, and on November 30, the main academic building of Jena High School was burned down in an unsolved fire. Later the same weekend, a black student was beaten up by white students at a party. The next day, black students at a convenience store were threatened by a young white man with a shotgun. They wrestled the gun from him and ran away. While no charges were filed against the white man, the students were arrested for the theft of the gun.
That Monday at school, a white student, who had been a vocal supporter of the students who hung the nooses, taunted the black student who was beaten up at the off-campus party and allegedly called several black students "nigger." After lunch, he was knocked down, punched and kicked by black students. He was taken to the hospital but was released and was well enough to go to a social event that evening.
A series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder.
ColorOfChange.org
In support WE ask that everyone, no matter where you are, WEAR BLACK to support the Jena 6. Some may say that this is not going to make any type of change but it does not hurt to try. If WEARING BLACK on September 20, 2007 is the closet you can get to helping the DO IT!
(this was all cut and pasted from www.colorofchange.org and www.progressiveu.org)
Last fall in Jena, Louisiana, the day after two Black high school students sat beneath the "white tree" on their campus, nooses were hung from the tree. When the superintendent dismissed the nooses as a "prank," more Black students sat under the tree in protest. The District Attorney then came to the school accompanied by the town's police and demanded that the students end their protest, telling them, "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke of my pen."
The noose-hanging incident and the DA's visit to the school set the stage for everything that followed. Racial tension escalated over the next couple of months, and on November 30, the main academic building of Jena High School was burned down in an unsolved fire. Later the same weekend, a black student was beaten up by white students at a party. The next day, black students at a convenience store were threatened by a young white man with a shotgun. They wrestled the gun from him and ran away. While no charges were filed against the white man, the students were arrested for the theft of the gun.
That Monday at school, a white student, who had been a vocal supporter of the students who hung the nooses, taunted the black student who was beaten up at the off-campus party and allegedly called several black students "nigger." After lunch, he was knocked down, punched and kicked by black students. He was taken to the hospital but was released and was well enough to go to a social event that evening.
A series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder.
ColorOfChange.org
In support WE ask that everyone, no matter where you are, WEAR BLACK to support the Jena 6. Some may say that this is not going to make any type of change but it does not hurt to try. If WEARING BLACK on September 20, 2007 is the closet you can get to helping the DO IT!
(this was all cut and pasted from www.colorofchange.org and www.progressiveu.org)
Snaxxx the Enabler
People like Snaxxarellia, have made this possible.
I'll be watching this show right after I watch Cavemen.
The "Leave Britney Alone" guy could be getting his own TV show.
I'll be watching this show right after I watch Cavemen.
Racist Toothpaste?
(PS this was written by my cousin, Frank. He's my cousin on my mother's side, which mean he's white, and he currently lives in Taipei, Taiwan)
Denton Tall Tales #29
There was an old railroad bridge that not that many people knew about. It was real old and was missing boards and was kind of sketchy. I heard people used to jump off of it and go swimming.
One day I had some shrooms, some brewskis, and some blunts and we decided to go up there and chill out for a while. We climbed up the hill and through the woods to get there and just sat dangling our feet over the edge.
Out of the woods came these three hick kids with no shoes on and dirt all over their faces. They looked like modern day Huck Finns. They walked over to us and said what’s up. They lived close by and it was obvious they had plenty of experience with the kids that hung out there. The oldest was 12 and the youngest was 10. The first thing they asked us was if we had any “pot”. I said no.
“well, we do”
The oldest kid took out a little bag of weed and proceeded to roll a little teeny joint. He told us that he stole it from his mom. I was tripping and started laughing my ass off. The oldest started smoking and he didn’t even hesitate when he passed it to the youngest. The youngest then passed it to me. I was bugging out a little bit and was hesitant, but this was obviously not his first time smoking, I was already wasted, and it wasn’t my weed….so who gives a fuck, right? Right.
They hung out the whole time we were there but they got pissed when we wouldn’t give them any beer or share our blunts with them. They told us that they were growing hydroponic weed because they had planted some seeds under water at the river bank. They were really funny.
One day I had some shrooms, some brewskis, and some blunts and we decided to go up there and chill out for a while. We climbed up the hill and through the woods to get there and just sat dangling our feet over the edge.
Out of the woods came these three hick kids with no shoes on and dirt all over their faces. They looked like modern day Huck Finns. They walked over to us and said what’s up. They lived close by and it was obvious they had plenty of experience with the kids that hung out there. The oldest was 12 and the youngest was 10. The first thing they asked us was if we had any “pot”. I said no.
“well, we do”
The oldest kid took out a little bag of weed and proceeded to roll a little teeny joint. He told us that he stole it from his mom. I was tripping and started laughing my ass off. The oldest started smoking and he didn’t even hesitate when he passed it to the youngest. The youngest then passed it to me. I was bugging out a little bit and was hesitant, but this was obviously not his first time smoking, I was already wasted, and it wasn’t my weed….so who gives a fuck, right? Right.
They hung out the whole time we were there but they got pissed when we wouldn’t give them any beer or share our blunts with them. They told us that they were growing hydroponic weed because they had planted some seeds under water at the river bank. They were really funny.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
LL Cool APW
(can't stop, won't stop)
(more color coordination! and a new penpal?)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool
(more color coordination! and a new penpal?)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool
Text Message From Brannon to Zoop
"the ribbed butt plug glows in the dark and it is kind of freaking me out"
Conversations in a Senator's Office
Amy: Why are yawns contagious?
Rob: What if farting was contagious like yawning?
Nick: What if both happened at the same time?Denton Tall Tales #28
My first day on the job painting houses I was introduced to Rob. Our first conversation went something like:
Rob: Hey dude, so your in college?
Me: Yep.
Rob: You bang a lot of chicks up there?
Me: Oh yeah….you know it dude…tons. I can’t keep them off me.
Rob: Ha ha. Yeah….So you must do a lot of partying, huh?
Me: You betcha.
Rob: You ever eat shrooms?
Me: Sure!
Rob: Well come by my house after work and ill hook you up with some.
I had been at work for maybe a half an hour.
My jaw must have dropped and as far as I was concerned I just stumbled on the best job ever. I didn’t care that Rob talked to himself, that everyone else at work told me to stay away from him because he was severely schizophrenic, or that he looked kind of like Splinter from teenage mutant ninja turtles. All I knew is that this guy had shrooms that he seemed to be offering to me for free. Awesome.
After work I went over to his apartment. The walls were painted black and he had hand painted pentagrams, upside down crosses, and dungeons and dragons type shit all over the walls. In the living room he had a large fish tank that was filled with growing mushrooms. He gave me about an eighth for free and told me that if I wanted more I would have to trade him some weed for it. Fair enough. I went over to his house every Friday after work and we would trade. It was a fun summer.
Rob: Hey dude, so your in college?
Me: Yep.
Rob: You bang a lot of chicks up there?
Me: Oh yeah….you know it dude…tons. I can’t keep them off me.
Rob: Ha ha. Yeah….So you must do a lot of partying, huh?
Me: You betcha.
Rob: You ever eat shrooms?
Me: Sure!
Rob: Well come by my house after work and ill hook you up with some.
I had been at work for maybe a half an hour.
My jaw must have dropped and as far as I was concerned I just stumbled on the best job ever. I didn’t care that Rob talked to himself, that everyone else at work told me to stay away from him because he was severely schizophrenic, or that he looked kind of like Splinter from teenage mutant ninja turtles. All I knew is that this guy had shrooms that he seemed to be offering to me for free. Awesome.
After work I went over to his apartment. The walls were painted black and he had hand painted pentagrams, upside down crosses, and dungeons and dragons type shit all over the walls. In the living room he had a large fish tank that was filled with growing mushrooms. He gave me about an eighth for free and told me that if I wanted more I would have to trade him some weed for it. Fair enough. I went over to his house every Friday after work and we would trade. It was a fun summer.
Monday, September 17, 2007
_ _ _'s Weekly Tattoo Pick
(vol. 5)
Shaky Vs Ralph Awesome week 2
Ralph Awesome I can't wait
Big Baby Jesus I can't wait
What do you think now? Who's got the best tats dude?
PS How's that for a compromise, Enough?
Ralph Awesome I can't wait
Big Baby Jesus I can't wait
What do you think now? Who's got the best tats dude?
PS How's that for a compromise, Enough?
White Shoes
Aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah
Uhraah!
Bass!
Ooh White, White
Ooh White, White
Ooh White, White
(Ooh White shoes) Vision dreams of passion
(Blowin’ through my mind) and all the while I think of you
(High price) a very strange reaction
(For us to unwind) the more I see, the more I do
(Something like a phenomenon) Baby!
(Tellin your body to come along, but white shoes blow away)
(Blow! Rock it! Blow!)
Ticket to ride, white shoe highway
Tell all your friends, they can go my way
Pay your toll, sell your soul
Pound for pound costs more than gold
The longer you stay, the more you pay
My white shoes go a long way
Either up your nose or through your vein
With nothin to gain except killin’ your brain
(Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock!)
(Blow!)
Uhraah!
Bass!
Ooh White, White
Ooh White, White
Ooh White, White
(Ooh White shoes) Vision dreams of passion
(Blowin’ through my mind) and all the while I think of you
(High price) a very strange reaction
(For us to unwind) the more I see, the more I do
(Something like a phenomenon) Baby!
(Tellin your body to come along, but white shoes blow away)
(Blow! Rock it! Blow!)
Ticket to ride, white shoe highway
Tell all your friends, they can go my way
Pay your toll, sell your soul
Pound for pound costs more than gold
The longer you stay, the more you pay
My white shoes go a long way
Either up your nose or through your vein
With nothin to gain except killin’ your brain
(Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock!)
(Blow!)
LL Cool APW
I had to bump this one up. I just love color coordination. That's how you can tell I"m half black.
(check out the color coordination!)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
(check out the color coordination!)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
LL Cool APW
One time, APW and I went to Boston to visit Chris Shea, and APW ended up winning a weight lifting contest, True Story.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Mrs. Billy Ray Valentine has white shoes and a straw hat
we got married in Hawaii, and we took a lot of pictures, here's a couple of them:
LL Cool APW
(A blast from the past! Plus it's a rare picture of me with glasses, earrings, and facial piercings!)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
LL Cool APW
(Check out my last week of Summer beard!)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Friday, September 14, 2007
My New Favortie TV Show
I'm not a big YouTube video poster but when I saw Mystery from my new favorite television program VH1's The Pick Up Artist on Conan I had to post it.
If you haven't see this show do yourself a favor and check it out. It's on Monday nights at 9:00 on VH1. You know Balz and myself will be watching so stop on by.
I'm usually not a big fan of reality TV but the show is fucking hilarious. I've already told some of my friends about it and after watching their first episode they were like, "That guy's a clown. How can you watch that? I can't believe anyone would listen to what that guy has to say. I mean look at him!" They said this like they were on to something that the rest of us were not. Like they had some fresh insight and couldn't believe that VH1 would put this on TV. My friends are fucking idiots. That's exactly what the executives at VH1 want you to think. They know exactly what they're doing. You think you're smarter than a TV producer?! Check your bank statement, YOU'RE NOT!
Anyways check out Mystery on Conan and laugh with the rest of us.
If you haven't see this show do yourself a favor and check it out. It's on Monday nights at 9:00 on VH1. You know Balz and myself will be watching so stop on by.
I'm usually not a big fan of reality TV but the show is fucking hilarious. I've already told some of my friends about it and after watching their first episode they were like, "That guy's a clown. How can you watch that? I can't believe anyone would listen to what that guy has to say. I mean look at him!" They said this like they were on to something that the rest of us were not. Like they had some fresh insight and couldn't believe that VH1 would put this on TV. My friends are fucking idiots. That's exactly what the executives at VH1 want you to think. They know exactly what they're doing. You think you're smarter than a TV producer?! Check your bank statement, YOU'RE NOT!
Anyways check out Mystery on Conan and laugh with the rest of us.
Denton Tall Tales #26
There was only one gang in Denton that I knew of. They were around when I was much younger and were really small. They weren’t a gang in the sense of the bloods or crips, they were just four Italian kids that hung out together. The name of their gang was the I.W.A., Italians with Attitude. They were relatively harmless and were some of the wealthier kids in town, but I still would get nervous when I saw them.
The most notorious of the gang, (ironically I cant remember his name) brought a shovel handle to school one day and beat up a kid with it. He had been hitting on his girlfriend or something stupid like that. He was expelled. I was in 8th grade when this happened, and already terrified of going to high school. This didn’t help things much.
The most notorious of the gang, (ironically I cant remember his name) brought a shovel handle to school one day and beat up a kid with it. He had been hitting on his girlfriend or something stupid like that. He was expelled. I was in 8th grade when this happened, and already terrified of going to high school. This didn’t help things much.
LL Cool APW
(Is that a mustache I see coming in?!)
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Butt Knuckles
last night i went to B&Bs to play bingo. my table was the big winner all night. here is a list of the things we won:
-free well beverage
-free special
-2 flashlight vibrators
-2 fingerbanging things (one spikey, one ribbed)
-one midget porno
-one anal porno titled "one size fits all"
-one bottle of "love jam" lubricant
-$10 gift certificate to starbucks
-free well beverage
-free special
-2 flashlight vibrators
-2 fingerbanging things (one spikey, one ribbed)
-one midget porno
-one anal porno titled "one size fits all"
-one bottle of "love jam" lubricant
-$10 gift certificate to starbucks
LL Cool APW
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Thursday Personals!
Find yourself a date for the weekend.
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
Thursday Personals Archives!
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
Thursday Personals Archives!
Shaky
name: Shaky
age: 27
height: 5'10"
eye's: Awesome
turn ons: Clean Girls with Dirty Minds... on Bikes, Barbecuing
turn offs: Mopes, Philly Car Share,
hobbies/interests: Fun, Whiskey, Bikes, Screen Printing, Novelty Finger Tattoos, Boating
last words: Balee Dat!
This is not art.
http://www.boston.com/ae/theater_arts/articles/2007/09/13/on_and_off/
This is some OCD patient with a light switch.
This is some OCD patient with a light switch.
Denton Tall Tales #25
The little league field was set in the woods on the bank of the Choptank river. It was located in a kind of shady neighborhood.
One day during practice, while looking for a foul ball, Patrick made an awesome discovery. Near the water there was a large green trashcan, inside that trash can was a large amount of marijuana. Like 20 pounds or more, filled to the brim. Nancy Reagan’s “say no to drugs” campaign must have had a big effect on us, because after checking it out, we all decided that we should tell our coach. He promptly notified the authorities. We didn’t take any, and its still one of the biggest regrets of my life.
When we get together these days that is one story we often talk about. “Man, can you imagine if we found something like that today……wow…” I often wonder whose it was, and where it came from. They must have been really pissed at us.
One day during practice, while looking for a foul ball, Patrick made an awesome discovery. Near the water there was a large green trashcan, inside that trash can was a large amount of marijuana. Like 20 pounds or more, filled to the brim. Nancy Reagan’s “say no to drugs” campaign must have had a big effect on us, because after checking it out, we all decided that we should tell our coach. He promptly notified the authorities. We didn’t take any, and its still one of the biggest regrets of my life.
When we get together these days that is one story we often talk about. “Man, can you imagine if we found something like that today……wow…” I often wonder whose it was, and where it came from. They must have been really pissed at us.
Denton Tall Tales #24, the Lancaster Remix
So I hate to bite off of Snacks' post, but this brought up memories of a similar situation that went down in the area I grew up in, which was Conestoga, PA, a suburb of Lancaster.
Conestoga is a small town with not a lot going on in it. Although it is not very populated, it is kind of spread out, and there are a lot of wooded areas (where my parents' house is). One the main road, there is a trailer park, and that is where this story takes place.
It all started out with rumors of this dorky kid Mac Rieneer humping a tree as part of a game of truth or dare in the trailer park. He became known as Thumper, and it was a big to-do for quite some time. This was in seventh grade. Poor Mac was just trying to get dared into getting a blow job, but no one really wanted to touch him.
Although Thumper's nickname stuck for quite some time, the humping of the tree was not the focus of the stories revolving around the truth or dare that went down at the trailer park. Three girls who didn't even live in the park would go there and play these games just as an excuse to suck off all the boys that lived or hung out there. These girls also started flashing our bus when they would get off of it. Although the girls weren't very attractive, I was a seventh grade boy, so boobs were boobs and that was good enough for me until the bus driver caught on to the post-school peep show.
I always thought about going up to the trailer park after school. I was friends with all the dudes, and my seventh grade hormones were rage'n. Somehow, common sense outweighed biology, and I decided my first sexual experience shouldn't be in a trailer park with some lack luster girls who just sucked off 5 other dudes I knew.
Conestoga is a small town with not a lot going on in it. Although it is not very populated, it is kind of spread out, and there are a lot of wooded areas (where my parents' house is). One the main road, there is a trailer park, and that is where this story takes place.
It all started out with rumors of this dorky kid Mac Rieneer humping a tree as part of a game of truth or dare in the trailer park. He became known as Thumper, and it was a big to-do for quite some time. This was in seventh grade. Poor Mac was just trying to get dared into getting a blow job, but no one really wanted to touch him.
Although Thumper's nickname stuck for quite some time, the humping of the tree was not the focus of the stories revolving around the truth or dare that went down at the trailer park. Three girls who didn't even live in the park would go there and play these games just as an excuse to suck off all the boys that lived or hung out there. These girls also started flashing our bus when they would get off of it. Although the girls weren't very attractive, I was a seventh grade boy, so boobs were boobs and that was good enough for me until the bus driver caught on to the post-school peep show.
I always thought about going up to the trailer park after school. I was friends with all the dudes, and my seventh grade hormones were rage'n. Somehow, common sense outweighed biology, and I decided my first sexual experience shouldn't be in a trailer park with some lack luster girls who just sucked off 5 other dudes I knew.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
LL Cool APW
Andrew P. Warcraft loves digital photography.
Digital photography loves Andrew P. Warcraft.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves pictures of himself.
Everyone loves pictures of him.
Andrew P. Warcraft loves the ladies
and the Ladies Love Cool Andrew P. Warcraft.
Denton Tall Tales #24
Dawn was the first girl I knew who gave blowjobs. We were in 7th grade when I first heard. I’m not sure when she first started. She gave them out to all of the cool dudes and then we would all gather in the library or in the locker room and they would tell us what it was like. I’m not even sure if I had pubes then, but I wanted to hear all about it. She wasn’t very attractive but she was slutty and I guess that’s all that really mattered.
Around the same time I heard her talking to one of her girlfriends about how she hated to poop, and would drink Pepto Bismal to make herself constipated. I was really grossed out. I was never cool enough or fat enough for her to give me a BJ, but I don’t think I would have wanted one anyway.
Around the same time I heard her talking to one of her girlfriends about how she hated to poop, and would drink Pepto Bismal to make herself constipated. I was really grossed out. I was never cool enough or fat enough for her to give me a BJ, but I don’t think I would have wanted one anyway.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Public School Tales: vol. 4
So, I started work again last week. The kids however, didn't start until this week. So that means that everyday last week we had long, boring meetings. During one of our breaks one of the fourth grade teachers told me to get my class list so he could go over the kids with me. He looks at my list and tells me, "watch out for this kid, this kid's pretty smart, this girl is low in math, that kid is low in reading and math, blah blah blah." Then the meeting starts back up. The next thing I remember another teacher sitting next to me is going, "helloooo" and waving at me. I must have be seriously out of it. The reason he wanted to get my attention is to tell me that I shouldn't send one particular boy in my class to the bathroom alone, because last year he was peeing out of the windows.
Peeing out the windows!
Peeing!
One of my boys was peeing out of a third floor window.
Third floor.
Great.
Peeing out the windows!
Peeing!
One of my boys was peeing out of a third floor window.
Third floor.
Great.
Denton Tall Tales #23
Perhaps the most notorious Denton kook of all time would be Chi-Chi. I don’t know her real name, I’m not sure anyone does. She went to school with my grandmother, and she said that they used to call her Kittypuss. She also said that during school they would lift up her skirt and show all of the boys her underwear.
Chi-Chi was just a plain weirdo, always wearing crazy outfits and riding her bike around town. She lived in West Denton in an old dilapidated house that was overtaken with ivy and foliage. My bus used to go past it and I remember she had a faded paper skeleton hanging on the front door, which was hanging on one hinge. Spooky!
Chi-Chi used to live with her brother. He was normal and kind of took care of her. One day he came home from work and lied down on the couch to take a nap. During his slumber he died. For the next 2 weeks he laid on the couch and Chi-Chi just thought he was asleep.
Im not sure how she found out he was dead or what happened after that. All I know is that this story has been passed down from Dentonite to Dentonite for generations.
Chi-Chi was just a plain weirdo, always wearing crazy outfits and riding her bike around town. She lived in West Denton in an old dilapidated house that was overtaken with ivy and foliage. My bus used to go past it and I remember she had a faded paper skeleton hanging on the front door, which was hanging on one hinge. Spooky!
Chi-Chi used to live with her brother. He was normal and kind of took care of her. One day he came home from work and lied down on the couch to take a nap. During his slumber he died. For the next 2 weeks he laid on the couch and Chi-Chi just thought he was asleep.
Im not sure how she found out he was dead or what happened after that. All I know is that this story has been passed down from Dentonite to Dentonite for generations.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Andrew P. Warcraft's Weekly Tattoo Pick
(vol. 4)
Shaky VS Ralph Awesome Edition
Shaky: Week One
Ralph: Week Three
and here's Shaky again
Who's got the best tattoos? You decide!
And remember, if you have a good tattoo give me a call or send it to
the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
Shaky: Week One
Ralph: Week Three
and here's Shaky again
Who's got the best tattoos? You decide!
And remember, if you have a good tattoo give me a call or send it to
the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
BORIS BUNDY
The number one show on Russian television is Married With Children. Not the original, but a shot for shot remake of all the old episodes. This is a picture of Russian Peg, Al, and Bud sitting on the couch.
Denton Tall Tale #22
Anyone who grew up in Denton during the eighties will remember Weird Harold. He was always walking around downtown Denton and was always at every little league game.
Weird Harold was probably about 70 years old, always wore a baseball cap, was normally pretty jolly, and was very retarded. A lot of kids made fun of him by playing keep away or knocking his hat off. I felt sorry for him more than once.
The best thing about weird Harold, and probably the most memorable, was that he thought he was a cop. He had a plastic badge that he liked to show people. He would stop you on the street for jaywalking or riding your bicycle on the sidewalk, you would yell out, “Fuck you weird Harold!!!”, and he would shake his fist at you. It was a fun game. He also always carried around post it notes and would pretend to write tickets. It was pretty common to come out of the grocery store and see a post-it note, with scribbles all over it, attached to your windshield. “Oh Weird Harold…..He’s struck again”
Weird Harold died about 10 years ago. I like to think a small part of all Dentonians died that day. I’m sure most people were just glad to not have post-it notes on their windshields anymore.
Weird Harold was probably about 70 years old, always wore a baseball cap, was normally pretty jolly, and was very retarded. A lot of kids made fun of him by playing keep away or knocking his hat off. I felt sorry for him more than once.
The best thing about weird Harold, and probably the most memorable, was that he thought he was a cop. He had a plastic badge that he liked to show people. He would stop you on the street for jaywalking or riding your bicycle on the sidewalk, you would yell out, “Fuck you weird Harold!!!”, and he would shake his fist at you. It was a fun game. He also always carried around post it notes and would pretend to write tickets. It was pretty common to come out of the grocery store and see a post-it note, with scribbles all over it, attached to your windshield. “Oh Weird Harold…..He’s struck again”
Weird Harold died about 10 years ago. I like to think a small part of all Dentonians died that day. I’m sure most people were just glad to not have post-it notes on their windshields anymore.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Denton Tall Tales #21
Bryan was one of my friends in Elementary School. He was overweight and had a horrible stuttering problem. He was made fun of a lot.
We used to play a game called battleship, Bryan was an aircraft carrier since he was the biggest, and the rest of us were battleships. The object of the game was to sink the aircraft carrier, and we would do this by running as fast as we could at him and ramming him. It was actually pretty hard to knock him down.
Brian was the richest kid I knew. He always had the latest Jordans. When ever he suspected you were mad at him he would buy you candy or some baseball cards. He would also call my mom and ask if I could spend the night without asking me first. I would get home from playing and my mom would say, “Pack your things, you’re spending the night at Bryans house.” “Awww….Mom!” Then I would go over to his house, tell him he shouldn’t have called my mom like that, and we would walk to the convenience store and he would buy me a pack of cards. The first bagel I ever ate was at Bryans house.
In sixth grade Bryan got cancer in his knee. He moved away and I only saw him one more time after that. We were in high school, he told me he was in a semi-successful Christian rock band, and he asked me if I had accepted Jesus as my personal savior. We didn’t hang out.
We used to play a game called battleship, Bryan was an aircraft carrier since he was the biggest, and the rest of us were battleships. The object of the game was to sink the aircraft carrier, and we would do this by running as fast as we could at him and ramming him. It was actually pretty hard to knock him down.
Brian was the richest kid I knew. He always had the latest Jordans. When ever he suspected you were mad at him he would buy you candy or some baseball cards. He would also call my mom and ask if I could spend the night without asking me first. I would get home from playing and my mom would say, “Pack your things, you’re spending the night at Bryans house.” “Awww….Mom!” Then I would go over to his house, tell him he shouldn’t have called my mom like that, and we would walk to the convenience store and he would buy me a pack of cards. The first bagel I ever ate was at Bryans house.
In sixth grade Bryan got cancer in his knee. He moved away and I only saw him one more time after that. We were in high school, he told me he was in a semi-successful Christian rock band, and he asked me if I had accepted Jesus as my personal savior. We didn’t hang out.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
ONE MORE PERSONAL!!!!
name: A. Mangolatoosenage: 33
height: 6'0
turn ons: dvda (prospect of, not actual realization) recto verso (realization ok), tautness, mao's little hot pink book in back pockets
turn offs: double bubble
hobbies/interests: contact improvisation class, tue/thurs
last words: SWF seeks male who has never made love, never seen home, doesn't like to see himself in photographs. Fall into the mirror pool with me. Here, I brought you some flowers.
Power of Ten
Short film by Ray & Charles Eames. You've sat in their chairs before.
The Simpson's version.
The Simpson's version.
Denton Tall Tales #20
Chucky was a dude that bought us beer. He was an uncle of a friends friend or something like that.
We would have to go to his house to ask, because he didn’t have a phone. He also didn’t have a license, it was taken away. Before we drove him to the store, he would have to smoke some crack, and then he would go. He was the first person I ever saw smoke crack. He also had a dog that would drink beer and a very young son who was allowed to smoke weed. We would give him like 5 bucks for his efforts, drop him off at his house and then we would go drink our double deuces of Budweiser.
Once I saw him out front of the Royal Farm store and he said hello. My friends laughed at me.
We would have to go to his house to ask, because he didn’t have a phone. He also didn’t have a license, it was taken away. Before we drove him to the store, he would have to smoke some crack, and then he would go. He was the first person I ever saw smoke crack. He also had a dog that would drink beer and a very young son who was allowed to smoke weed. We would give him like 5 bucks for his efforts, drop him off at his house and then we would go drink our double deuces of Budweiser.
Once I saw him out front of the Royal Farm store and he said hello. My friends laughed at me.
Thursday Personals!
Find yourself a date for the weekend.
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
If you see someone you like leave them a comment.
If you want to make your own personal ad for next Thursday send it to the.regal.beagles@gmail.com
Milionaire Porcelain
name: Millionaire Porcelain
age: 5
height:about a meter
eyes: asians have brown eyes
turn ons: I like girls who are nice and like to play.
turn offs: I don't like mean girls who don't share.
hobbies/interests: playing video games, pretending I'm on Ninja Warrior in the baby pool.
last words: I'm looking for a play date this weekend. Maybe we could watch Ninja Warrior together.
DJ Hello Kitty
name:DJ Hello Kitty
age: 25
height: 5'6"
turn ons: red hair, computers, coca-cola, hotdogs
turn offs: techno music, vegetables, bright colors
hobbies/interests: records, djing, not-dancing, irish history, hob-knobbing, VW's
last words:Hi, I just moved to philly from LA. Im looking for a nice guy to spend quite nights watching tv with, or someone who can show me how to DJ. I really want to learn! Im sick of guys in "the industry" and really want to meet a down to earth fella.
Ralph Awesome
name: Ralph Stollenwerk, aka Pink Bike Ralph, aka Mr. Awesome aka Jeff
Stollenwerk
age: 27
height: 6'2"
eyes: crystal blue
turn ons: girls on bikes, Burt Reynolds movies (not in a gay way)
turn offs: smokers, sweaty armpit stains, bacne
hobbies/interests: gettin awesome
last words: to the fiery gates of hellllllllll....
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The Picture of Irony
Do you remember when you were in school and the teacher, being oh-so-clever, asked the class to define irony and then smirked as they struggled? Or have you read the absurd dissertation in the appendix to Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius on irony? Me neither, the font was way too small. Well don't worry about not reading it, or that pesky teacher, someone over at the blog Boing Boing has found the photograph that will quell all future discussions of irony. Would you like to see? Then click here.
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